I’m one of those people, who when my mom tells me something I think I know, I simply repeat the words “I know” over and over until she gets the point. I’d hate for someone to think that there is an ounce of truth that just maybe I haven’t figured out… but is it possible there are many things that hang in front of our faces and we never actually get the point… see the truth.

Tonight in our girls group we were talking about being authentic and ok with the place we are in. And Renee threw out the question, “Who is it that you are SUPPOSE to be?” Now I knew this question might be important so I scribbled it down on my hand. But it didn’t click until I was scrubbing the river out of my hair. (As I had taken the kids canoeing earlier) I looked down at my hand to see the few words still evident and realized that I was trying to be everyone else, because somehow they were all better than me, than Shelby. Example- (You will probably think of your own as I write this) I have always thought that girls with straight long hair were beautiful. And in my mind to be beautiful, looked like that. So for years I have struggled with my hair to make it look like, what I deem, as beautiful. That was the me I wanted to be. Another, I love to watch Brooke Fraser on the Hillsong worship team. She is someone who I aspire to musically I guess you could say. Her voice, her grace, the songs she writes… all of it is so beautiful and refreshing, and in my mind I often think that if i’m going to be a good worship leader, I must look like that… the shampoo was now burning my eyes because I was having a clouds parting, light bulb flashing kind of moment. All those times I had told people “I know” but I didn’t. I even had an exercise for my youth girls where we picked someone who they held in high esteem, and have them write down all the things they liked about that person. (This was supposed to be so they could study what they liked about characteristics, which was not a bad thing) however it is so wrong to look at someone and think “man if I was just like them, or had their hair, or their voice, or their heart, or their life… I just might be happy.

It was like a tornado of truth tearing into my life leaving a bit of a mess… but not a bad mess. I’m actually excited to expose those things I used to want to cover, because i’m excited to see what Me actually looks like. Now i’m not saying i’m a great pretender, i’ve been Shelby, but at the same time I’ve been torn and beaten down for so long by the many pains and struggles we deal with daily. Indluding lies that the greatest pretender, Satan, wants us to hear. Romans 12:2 Be transformed by the renewing of your mind… As I read the scripture and God speaks in my weakness, my mind, heart, and soul are slowly and forever changed.

The secret of Life? Good cup of coffee? Piece of warm apple pie? Or maybe as Paul said in Philippians 4:11-12 The secret to life is being content in any and every situation. Seeing that you ARE fearfully and wonderfully made. And being ok with those days you didn’t make the choice you should have. A tornado of truth is Jesus, and seems to speak to us when we aren’t sure we can do anymore good. The great thing is, he is Good, and as long as he is mine and I am his, then I can do great things… Philippians 4:13 😉 which I think you know.

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