One of the movie lines my dear father often quotes is from Castaway. The scene where Tom Hanks is back home and he says “And now, here I am. I’m back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass… And I’ve lost her all over again. I’m so sad that I don’t have Kelly. But I’m so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

Now understand that I cannot even compare with what Mr Hanks went through… and the time for I got hit by a car pity party is over… ya hear me… OVER. I love the prayers and encouragement, please don’t stop… but there are people all over the world who need exactly what has been given to me. People who don’t have outside wounds or injuries, but have been cut to the heart. I hope we give them our best. If you are close to me and are sad you can’t be here, go help someone else.

The truth is… i’m happy. When it takes me 10 minutes to get off the bed, I am down, but then I remember how blessed I am… and it makes me smile so big. I’m singing as loud as I can and as much as I can. And when i’m alone I lay in the bed and praise… because i’m alive to do so… medicine hasn’t really helped, but worship has healed.

The part that gets me about that quote, is realizing that when I am able to go home it will be different. It will be changed for me. I can no longer be Mrs Independent. lol This morning dad brought me up to the roof of the hotel that I was moved too. I’ve been laying here in the sweltering heat enjoying a cup of coffee, that I just spilled on myself. haha What is hard for me is I think hey I got this no problem… then I fall or spill or stub my toe on my broke leg. Even when I am taken in the wheel chair out and about… people just look at me. I’ve been glad to have the bangs because I feel I can hide under them. I think when I had the accident I was hopefully and thought… i’ll bounce back. But now i’m realizing that I must be patience and kind to myself. Allow grace. But move on… move on and begin to give myself and energy to others as I was. The best healing for hurt is loving other people… I know this from experience. I hope that today I can make someone else smile, maybe rub lotions on dad’s feet (His need them more than mine hehe:) give myself wholly because I am not yet broken. I am exactly where I am…. I like that. I am where I AM. And I will use and enjoy it.

Dad read my prayer card out to me last night… the one I gave before I left… and one of the first prayers is that I will have courage and boldness. I think it still applies now. I love you all so much. I only really cry when I think about your faces and how much I care for you all…

PS Emy is back home and doing pretty well. She is still in a lot of pain and struggling with the same as ole Tom… being back home with the way things are. Keep praying for her. We both have poured our hearts out to each other and apologized a million times for what we think we did. We both would gladly give up everything if we could only make the other feel better. That is a good friendship.

All my love across the sea

Shelby Allison

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